How to prepare your child for divorce

Divorce is difficult for everyone involved. It is hard enough for the couple, but potentially even more so for a child, whose home and life are essentially being split in two. Some children may take the news better than others, and all children will express their grief in different ways. It is possible to get your children through your divorce without too many problems, provided you prepare them adequately and agree to a policy of openness, honesty and showing plenty of love, care and patience. These four tips will help them make the transition more easily.

Make the announcement once the wheels are already in motion

Relationships have their ups and downs, and sometimes, couples decide to divorce and then change their minds. It is best to avoid discussing the matter with the children until the decision has been finalized and the process is underway. It will be hard enough for them to deal with the divorce without also having to manage the confusion that would result if you and your spouse decide to work things out. Aside from the confusion, it can lead to a sense of distrust, and a constant worry about the status of your relationship. Keep the discussions between yourself and your spouse until the wheels are in motion, then sit your children down and break the news to them gently, while opening the door to deep discussion and providing answers to whatever questions they may ask.

Make sure you and your ex are on the same page before delivering the news

It is very important for both parents to be on the same page about how to break the news to the children. Discuss how you want to approach it and even practice your speeches to make sure you say everything right. Even if things are tense between you and your ex, it is very important that you show your children that you remain in agreement when it comes to their welfare and for the love you both have for them.

Make it clear they’re not responsible for the divorce

Children often have a tendency to take on the burden of the divorce, believing that they are to blame in some way. Make a point of reminding them constantly that they are in no way responsible for the split, that it has nothing to do with them and that it does not, in any way, affect their relationship with either you or your spouse or the love you have for them.

Explain what will stay the same

Your children’s lives are about to change irrevocably. The whole family will soon have to deal with new living arrangements, visitation schedules, etc. To start off with then, rather focus on what is going to stay the same. This will help to reassure the children and build a solid, secure base for what is to come. 

Divorce is a difficult experience, but the process of getting divorced does not have to be. It can be smooth, civilized and guided by the law, rather than driven by emotion. Not only can you conclude your divorce without too much conflict and emotional turmoil, but you can also complete the divorce process quickly and efficiently, with the help of SplitEasy. While you and your spouse decide on how to prepare your child for divorce, let SplitEasy ease the process by helping you complete all the divorce documents you need.  Contact us for more information or visit our website to order your forms.