4 signs your marriage will end in divorce

Every couple that gets married believes that their union will last for life. Nonetheless, divorce is a high probability, leaving former spouses wondering what went wrong and how they could have missed the signs. The truth is that a marriage ends long before anybody files for divorce. It is a gradual, often subtle process that usually involves a number of steps, developments and habits, that the couple either don’t recognize at first, or choose to ignore. It is beneficial to both parties to remain alert and spot the main signs of a failing marriage as they arise - and either correct the situation as they arise, or prepare for separation so that it doesn’t come as a shock. Here are four common signs that your marriage is not on a good track.

Money has become a problem or a secret 

Aside from infidelity, money problems are the most common cause of failed marriages. No matter how you decide to manage your respective and pooled resources - whether by agreeing to keep them separate or treat them as if they belong to both of you, or a combination of the two - both must remain transparent about finances and discuss them regularly. A marriage is not a simple matter of two people falling in love and living happily ever after. Maintaining a home and raising children costs money, and both partners are equally responsible for covering the costs. If money is a touchy topic, i.e. one that you cannot raise with your partner, that is a red flag, as is any indication that one spouse is hiding any aspect of their finances from the other. 

You’re living like a single person, not a married person

It is healthy for married partners to give each other space, but it is equally important that they live their lives jointly, with many common interests and with plenty of time set aside to spend together - even if work schedules are crazy. If you suddenly find that the two of you barely see each other, and that your schedules never seem to match, you should correct the situation before it slides too far downhill.

You want different things out of life

Sometimes, even after being together for many years, couples find that they just don’t see eye to eye anymore. One or both of them may find that the values they held dear when they got married have given way to new priorities and visions for the future. These changes in values and priorities can form the basis for deep rifts between couples, and ultimately make the marriage untenable. 

Therapy isn’t working

If you decide to work on your marriage, even when there are several red flags, you might decide to seek out a marriage counsellor and try to talk through your differences. If this process does not work, it is an indication that you have either drifted so far apart that reconciliation is not possible, or that one or both of you is unwilling to make the necessary changes to save the marriage. Either way, you may be well on the way to getting a divorce.